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Thursday, 18 June 2009

  • Done moving

    So I got moved in OK and the place feels like home already.  Thanks to those of you that helped me move and provided various things for my new place.

    Speaking of which...

    If anyone happens to have any of the following they would be willing to part with I will gladly take it off your hands:

    microwave-safe plates and bowls
    cups
    over-the-door shoe rack (it will probably be unlikely that someone has one as I need one that is no wider than ~19 inches)
    shoe boxes
    blender
    stands to prop my bed up higher
    various cooking utensils like spatulas, serving spoons, measuring cups, measuring spoons
    video game chairs (I don't know what they are actually called, the ones that sit low to the floor and rock)
    fold-up table and chairs
    speaker wire (I estimate I'll need about 100 feet total but a shorter amount may allow me to wire up one of the two speakers)
    wifi card (either PCI or USB)

    I'll have a housewarming party...sometime.  It's going to be mid-July at the earliest as that's the earliest when I will have both time to plan for it and money for snacks.  I will actually likely have several gatherings, one for each of my circles of acquaintances, since my place is kind of small.

Wednesday, 13 May 2009

  • Moving

    So I am moving at the end of this month.  I don't know exactly when or where yet as I'm currently looking for a place. I'll be moving to Lake Castleton.  I'm currently coordinating the moving so you'll find out where when I ask you to help me move.

    I'll be updating this blog post with things that I need for the move, things that I need after the move, and a request to help move when I know exactly when (probably evening of May 28 27-evening of May 31, but I'm hoping to actually get it all done by May 29).

    Currently I am in need of for the move:
    boxes for packing
    shoe boxes (I'll be using them for storage after the move and possibly during)
    people to help me move (I'll be sending out an invite on this later)

    Things I will need in my new place
    microwave-safe plates and bowls
    cups
    microwave

    Things I would like to have:
    George Foreman grill

Tuesday, 09 December 2008

  • Feeling More

    I want to expand more on the exact reasons why I feel like I need a break on occasion.  I'm not going to go into any detail here on the exact events that have occurred but more my own reaction to them, because I think that's part of the issue.

    I used to be a private person.  I never really let anyone in as it were.  It's not that I specifically kept people out, it's just that I never let anyone in.  It just wasn't habit and part of it was that I didn't know how.

    A lot of people talk about how a love, specifically a first love, changed things.  The same is true for me.  I had found someone that I wanted to open up to.  Someone that I wanted to tell what was going on in my head and in my heart.  It was scary and I was still hesitant but slowly I started to let things out to her.

    We broke up but remained friends and she eventually introduced me to the people that would become my current core group of friends.  As I came to know these people I began to open up more to them as well.  Through several trials even more of my heart was laid bare.

    Last year after going out of state to see about a woman and realizing it wouldn't work I became depressed.  I came out of that changed.  Specifically it seems that my heart is even more open now.  Nearly all filters I had, the way my mind worked to avoid feeling raw emotions, are gone.  I feel it all now and I'm still coming to terms with what that means, especially when I have been and still want to be a very rational, logical person.

    What adds to this is the fact that I tend to be very empathetic to those that I am close to.  Previously this has come on in short bursts.  However I think that now it's a good possibility that these times will be longer in duration.  As such I will be dealing with other people's emotions as well.

    So in short I'm feeling a lot more than I am accustomed to and it's going to take a while to get used to it.  I don't really know how to do that aside from talking to get it out or getting away from people so I don't take on those emotions myself.  If anyone has any thoughts on how to deal with this please feel free to share.

Monday, 08 December 2008

  • Taking A Break

    As many of my readers already know a lot of unpleasant things have happened to me and those close to me over the last year and a half.  The issue with having one thing after another happen is that I don’t feel that I’ve had sufficient time to cope with one thing before the next one hits.  What ends up happening is my emotional priority queue gets full and I don’t know how to handle things.

     

    This past weekend things had become so bad that I was seriously considering pulling away from everyone for an extended period just to insulate myself a bit and lick my wounds.  Upon further reflection I think that an extended break is neither feasible nor helpful.  However I think that a short break when needed may help.

     

    I feel the need to define what I mean by break.  This does not mean I’m necessarily angry with anyone.  It doesn’t mean that I’m irritated with group dynamics.  It doesn’t mean that I think I’m better than anyone.  What it does mean is that I will not be engaging in social events when in a break.  It means that I won’t be talking to people in any form.  I may choose to go to some social events and engage with some people of my choosing.  If you are still on break status with me when I do this, again, this has nothing to do with you; for whatever reason I am choosing to engage with only specific people at that time.

     

    As far as practical application I think the easiest way for me to announce when on a break is over Twitter as most of my friends have one.  The same will be the case when ending a break.  For those concerned about me getting depressed and possibly suicidal when taking a break and not being able to get in touch with me I ask that you go through Kathy.  She is in a unique position to 1)be a very good and old friend, 2)know a lot of the issues I am going through, 3)not be involved in any way with any of my drama, 4)be in a place where her life is relatively stable, and 5)have a key to my apartment.  In the event of an emergency that I need to be notified about I will continue to check texts, voicemail, and email but if it’s not an emergency I will not respond immediately.

     

    I also ask for your permission to break down in front of people if I feel the need.  I feel that due to some recent events I’ve had to be strong to survive and help others.  But now that the dust is settling a bit I feel like I may need to start unloading my burdens on others to help me carry them.

     

    I hope you can understand where I am coming from and that we can continue this journey of bearing with one another in love.

Wednesday, 01 October 2008

  • color meme

    01. Think of the first word that comes to mind when you think of me. 02. Go to Google Images and search for that word. 03. Reply to this post with one of the pictures on the first page of results (don't tell me the word). 04. Put this in your own journal so that I can do the same. I'm going to try and guess the word you were thinking of.

Pulse

Photostrip

[no photos]

Chatboard (2)

  • BurnDark
    Well, yeah, that happens. I have a blog idea in my head, may write it soon
  • WallflowerJenn
    Last Entry Dec. 2008?!?  ~jenn

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