As many of my readers already know a lot of unpleasant things
have happened to me and those close to me over the last year and a half.
The issue with having one thing after another
happen is that I don’t feel that I’ve had sufficient time to cope with one
thing before the next one hits.
What
ends up happening is my emotional priority queue gets full and I don’t know how
to handle things.
This past weekend things had become so bad that I was
seriously considering pulling away from everyone for an extended period just to
insulate myself a bit and lick my wounds.
Upon further reflection I think that an extended break is neither
feasible nor helpful. However I think
that a short break when needed may help.
I feel the need to define what I mean by break. This does not mean I’m necessarily angry with
anyone. It doesn’t mean that I’m
irritated with group dynamics. It doesn’t
mean that I think I’m better than anyone.
What it does mean is that I will not be engaging in social events when
in a break. It means that I won’t be
talking to people in any form. I may
choose to go to some social events and engage with some people of my
choosing. If you are still on break
status with me when I do this, again, this has nothing to do with you; for
whatever reason I am choosing to engage with only specific people at that time.
As far as practical application I think the easiest way for
me to announce when on a break is over Twitter as most of my friends have
one. The same will be the case when
ending a break. For those concerned
about me getting depressed and possibly suicidal when taking a break and not
being able to get in touch with me I ask that you go through Kathy. She is in a unique position to 1)be a very
good and old friend, 2)know a lot of the issues I am going through, 3)not be involved
in any way with any of my drama, 4)be in a place where her life is relatively
stable, and 5)have a key to my apartment.
In the event of an emergency that I need to be notified about I will continue
to check texts, voicemail, and email but if it’s not an emergency I will not
respond immediately.
I also ask for your permission to break down in front of
people if I feel the need. I feel that
due to some recent events I’ve had to be strong to survive and help
others. But now that the dust is
settling a bit I feel like I may need to start unloading my burdens on others
to help me carry them.
I hope you can understand where I am coming from and that we
can continue this journey of bearing with one another in love.
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