Monday, 08 December 2008
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Taking A Break
As many of my readers already know a lot of unpleasant things have happened to me and those close to me over the last year and a half. The issue with having one thing after another happen is that I don’t feel that I’ve had sufficient time to cope with one thing before the next one hits. What ends up happening is my emotional priority queue gets full and I don’t know how to handle things.This past weekend things had become so bad that I was seriously considering pulling away from everyone for an extended period just to insulate myself a bit and lick my wounds. Upon further reflection I think that an extended break is neither feasible nor helpful. However I think that a short break when needed may help.
I feel the need to define what I mean by break. This does not mean I’m necessarily angry with anyone. It doesn’t mean that I’m irritated with group dynamics. It doesn’t mean that I think I’m better than anyone. What it does mean is that I will not be engaging in social events when in a break. It means that I won’t be talking to people in any form. I may choose to go to some social events and engage with some people of my choosing. If you are still on break status with me when I do this, again, this has nothing to do with you; for whatever reason I am choosing to engage with only specific people at that time.
As far as practical application I think the easiest way for me to announce when on a break is over Twitter as most of my friends have one. The same will be the case when ending a break. For those concerned about me getting depressed and possibly suicidal when taking a break and not being able to get in touch with me I ask that you go through Kathy. She is in a unique position to 1)be a very good and old friend, 2)know a lot of the issues I am going through, 3)not be involved in any way with any of my drama, 4)be in a place where her life is relatively stable, and 5)have a key to my apartment. In the event of an emergency that I need to be notified about I will continue to check texts, voicemail, and email but if it’s not an emergency I will not respond immediately.
I also ask for your permission to break down in front of people if I feel the need. I feel that due to some recent events I’ve had to be strong to survive and help others. But now that the dust is settling a bit I feel like I may need to start unloading my burdens on others to help me carry them.
I hope you can understand where I am coming from and that we can continue this journey of bearing with one another in love.
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Comments (3)
*nods* I do this once in a while as well, but I don't tend to announce it. People around me just tend to know that sometimes, you can't get ahold of Crys. *shrugs* I usually come back later and tell them that I was going crazy and needed to be alone. You'd be amazed at how well most (sane) people understand that.
So yeah, I'd say if you want to announce it then fine, but if you don't, don't worry about it unless someone texts you or emails you and says "Are you ok? Did I do something?" and then tell them, "No, I just needed a break from people."
I totally understand and support you, won't take anything personal. Feel free to unload any burdens, as well.
Leaving society is like chemopherapy for the soul. You find yourself when no one is left.